


Now or Never

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Senior year, hsm, no singing tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 02:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14707271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: A month before graduation and a week before prom, Clarke Griffin calls her boyfriend Bellamy Blake to tell him she can’t say goodbye. She can’t go back home.She’s in college a month early, while he’s back at home wishing she was there.(A little angst twist to a high school 3 : senior year scene where Gabriella leaves for Stanford and breaks up with Troy)





	1. Right Here, I Promise You

Clarke’s fingers are shaking against the frame of her phone, the California sun was so much brighter than back home in Alberquerque. The small town in New Mexico, was always on her mind and so was Bellamy.

She’s dreading to make the call, to end things with him. Stanford has always been a dream for her mother Abby and Clarke can’t let her down. She won’t fail her mom, and she knows she can’t leave. 

But, her love for Bellamy was so strong that it made her bones ache to even move her fingers to dial his number. He was the one who put himself on speedial in case she needed him at any point in given time, because he’s extra like that. 

Right then, she needed to talk to him. 

Even though he’s a button press away, she wants to dial his number. To feel the familiarity that came with the reminder of him, the last time they saw eachother didn’t end well. 

She left Arcadia the week before prom. 

A week before her arm was supposed to be wrapped around his, and a big smile on her face to accompany them both. 

Her own dream was exactly that...to be with someone she loves and dance the night away in a time of her life that she’ll never forget. Who doesn’t remember high school? She doesn’t want to forget her good days. 

Being the perfect Griffin daughter meant going to school, and getting the best grades with the best teachers.

Not partying at a school dance or being with her friends a month before graduation.

It was a good head start, Abby had cooed in her daughter’s ear for the entirety of senior year, knowing Clarke had the chance to graduate early.

So she did, and that’s all that filled her mind as the stone bench burned the surface of her skin at the slightest, the sun was hot against the knees because her legs were exposed. Clarke didn’t pack much when she moved here, mostly bringing summer clothes because California never gets above 60 degrees. 

The phone is pressed against her ear and she almost hangs up before his voice echos in her head, but Bellamy picks up on the third ring. 

Clarke could hear him smile through the phone, if it was even possible. “How’s the princess doing?” 

She’s silent and it hurts her to not laugh at him. 

“Clarke..what’s up?” Bellamy asks concerned, she would usually reply immediately. He pushes Miller out of his room, closing the door and the clasp hanging his football jersey rattles against the wood. He needs to be alone. 

“Ca-Can we talk” Clarke runs a hand through the ends of her braid, already feeling the tears pool in her eyes. 

He sighs, too afraid to speak anything more than a couple words at a time because he’s scared too. “Of course, yeah” 

Bellamy’s heart lurches in his chest when he hears her sniffle back a couple tears and he doesn’t know why, she’s supposed to be happy with him. Everything in his world stops, because it’s all her. 

“I think I ran out of goodbyes Bell..” 

Clarke says in a rushed tone, trying to convince them both it was for the best. 

He’s shocked. “What does that mean?” 

“I can’t go back home, I-I can’t do it to myself to say goodbye to you and everyone else” She takes a deep breath, knowing he’s not the only one with his head spinning. 

It felt so wrong, but her mom was always right. She thinks about her friends, Raven and Monty and everyone else she’s experienced because of Bellamy. She remembers the parties, the sleepovers, and grumpy Raven when she’s hungover the night before a final. She thinks about her relationship with Bellamy, their first kiss under a tree in the courtyard of the school, him smiling so wide when he sees her in the crowd when he’s playing his games. 

She misses all of it. 

So she’ll settle for missing the things she loves, and not going back to face them all again. 

“Why do you keep saying goodbye to me?” Bellamy chokes on his words, hearing his mom knock at his door. She’s probably wondering why Miller left so abruptly. 

She looks up at the sky, lost in how he’s on the other side of the puffy clouds. 

2,199 miles away from her college, that’s how far Bellamy’s house was and she knows it because that’s where her heart stayed behind too. 

Clarke imagines as if he was there in front of her, to try and ease the agony. 

“It’s easier than saying hello, and I’ve said it too much that it hurts. I already left home once, and I can’t do it again if I go to prom Bellamy...” She feels a tear slide down her cheek, hoping no one else notices. 

She’s in a public setting, her bike laid in the grass next to her feet and she’s crying on the phone, so she’s bound to be seen by anyone. 

“Remember the night on the terrace? Where we almost got caught dancing in the rain? That Clarke Griffin promised me that she’d dance with me on prom night....y-you promised me that” He argues back, feeling his brown tears well with heavy tears. 

He loves her too much to let go.

“Promises are sometimes meant to be broken Bellamy, and I’m telling you that I can’t go. If I go back home, to see you....It’ll make me wanna stay” Clarke responds quickly, a shaky sigh passing her lips because he’s the one that’s right in that moment. She hates making him upset.

God, it makes her heart shatter with his next words. She doesn’t even believe what she’s saying, and she’s glad she doesn’t. It’s breaking her apart. 

“Come back home, to me and everyone else, Clarke _please.”_ He tries to reason.

She doesn’t budge, but the tears aren’t stopping even with her eyes shut. 

“Okay-“ Bellamy says. “Fine, don’t say goodbye to me but you can’t leave me alone. You don’t have to stay, but I need to see you, because I’m not ending this...I’m not ending this relationship over the phone” He tries to take a few breaths to calm himself down, but it comes out more in a heavy sigh. “I’m not doing that to myself.” 

Clarke lets out a sob, that she quickly covers with the back of her other hand because a kid with purple hair stares back at her.

“You’re gonna make me wanna stay behind, and I won’t be able to make it back here to make everyone proud. I need to stay here Bell-“ She manages to say without her voice severely cracking. 

“I need to start my future here.” She says— attempts to sound confident. 

Even though, she sounds like a broken record trying to ignore the screaming of her soul to let go and just run the endless miles back home. 

Bellamy shakes his head like she was there too. “I don’t see anything wrong with you staying home, there’s a month till graduation and you left us for college. I’ve always been proud of you, and it’s your mom that’s making you do this.”  

Clarke needs to end this now, before she caves in. “You could’ve taken your football scholarship, and I would’ve stayed behind” She speaks so fragile, but she’s already broken. 

Wondering how different this conversation would’ve been if he was the one in her position. 

Bellamy speaks after several seconds of silence, “I would’ve had you by my side....I know i wouldn’t be able to leave without you.” 

Now, that hurts the both of them. 

She wipes her tears with her sleeves because she’s thankful she wore a long sleeve dress to school, and she tries to think reasonable. 

“I’m tired of leaving Bell....I just wanna stay somewhere without moving, and I’m finally here at college. That chapter of my life is over...high school is done for me.” Clarke’s tired of everything, of how he makes her feel inside. 

Two years of her life spent loving one person and this is how it ends. 

Clarke can’t disappoint her mother’s wishes and it seemed like it was a force against her own happiness, but she isn’t strong enough to oppose just yet. 

“So we’re done? You aren’t coming back home? To prom? To be with me? To be with someone-“ He begins to say but there’s anger through his sadness. “You aren’t coming back to me? Clarke, you won’t even come back to someone you love. _How could you?_ ” He finishes, sitting down on the edge of his bed with his feet stomping the ground. He slouches because he’s disappointed. 

He blinks the tears away, and focuses on the tears coming from her end too. His soul screams too, telling Bellamy to run after her. He can’t because she’s so far away, and doesn’t want to fight her. 

“Coming back to you would ruin me, and you deserve to go to prom Bellamy Blake....so don’t even think about not going” She tries to smile, but her cheeks ache with pain and she’s too heartbroken to do even that. She wants him to be happy. 

Bellamy stays dead silent, too caught up in everything. 

“I’m sorry. I really am” Clarke whispers to him as the bell to her next class rings and it distracts her from the last thing she hears before she hangs up the phone. She throws her iPhone into her purse and gets up fast to ride to the next class that happened to be across campus. 

Bellamy has a frown on his face “I don’t wanna go if I don’t have you, and we both know that princess” He can’t be too vulnerable, so he settles for a few sobs to rack through his body before forcing himself to head to the bathroom and just look at himself in the mirror. He’s been hurt too many times that he can’t waste any more tears on people who shouldn’t be important anymore. 

But Clarke, she’s too important in his life to forget about. She’s half of his heart and the love he holds onto in his everyday. 

Just because Clarke is sorry about staying in California, doesn’t mean that she’s sorry about her love for him. 

What they have, it can’t and won’t be broken by thousands of miles. 

Bellamy knows he has two choices. 

One, being that he could accept Clarke’s wishes and try to forget about her and how she looked like because the blonde was so stubborn. He could accept their relationship now. 

Or have option number two, where he goes to California to get her back, because he never wants to let her go without a fight. 

She may hate goodbyes, but she hasn’t said goodbye to the person that mattered most, and he won’t let it slide.

 


	2. Take My Hand, Pull Me Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2!!!! And the final chapter for those asking. I hope you guys liked this little HSM based one-shot for clarke and bellamy!!!

“Prom is tomorrow, Clarke” Raven chimes in her best friend’s ear, hoping that she’ll someonehow show up to the dance.

She’s alone and misses the other girl, and Nathan Miller was getting less tolerable by the second.

That’s the only other friend she wanted to see half the time because Bellamy was always dazed when he didn’t have Clarke. It’s been a week and he’s still not over their conversation.

“I know Raven, and I really hope you have fun with Luna, she likes you too much” Clarke assures, a genuine smile on her face.

If she can’t be happy herself, then why should she rob Raven of someone she enjoys? It’s wrong to do so she lets herself feel something.

She hears Raven sigh through the phone, and she already knows what’s gonna happen, and what she’s gonna say.

“He misses you Clarke, he isn’t the same person without you. Are you sure you can’t come by tomorrow night? It’ll mean the world to Bellamy”

Clarke bites her already trembling lips at the mention of the guy she broke up with, but she answers truthfully. “I can’t catch a flight Rae...I have class in the morning and I already said that I shouldn’t go back to see everyone”

Even though she wants to.

Clarke walks up the steps to the main building as she has a first class to attend. It’s early in the morning, but later than her schedule in high school and everyone knows how much Clarke hated waking up at dawn.

There’s a light breeze that almost makes the homework in her hand fly away, but she holds a tight grip and turns to shift away from the direction of the wind.

She pauses before knowing her papers were safe and continues talking to Raven. “I hope you’re doing good though, I saw pictures of your dress and you’ll look stunning-“

She sees it instantly, almost missing the view of something that knocks her backwards. Her phone was seconds away from falling out of her hands, Clarke wouldn’t stop staring at it. 

The rusted white pick up truck that she’s rode in too many times to count on her fingers, too many good memories racking in her brain in a matter of seconds.

There’s nobody in the car, but she swears it belongs to him. It was like she was moving towards the car without consent and control, but she can’t stop herself from looking around the area.

“Clarke?” Raven asks curiously, all she hears is the heavy breathing from the other phone line.

“Y-Yeah?” Clarke answers quickly, her heart pounding in her chest. He can’t be here, Bellamy can’t show up here.

“You alright?” Clarke hears her friend ask, but she hangs up the phone and both of her hands start to shake.

She’ll call her back later, praying to herself that Bellamy wouldn’t be so stupid to show up to California because she would fall right back into his arms.

Clarke passes a few trees, still on her campus with the sun blinding her eyes and she reaches a garden. She’s getting close to the vehicle, and it’s too possible that the car doesn’t belong to Bellamy. There has to be other people with the same old truck, she doesn’t want to believe it’s him.

“I’m not shocked at all that you’d be the _first_ one going to class” She heard his voice behind her, and it sends a chill up her spine and leaves her breathless. 

She turns around slowly, like the people in a horror movie to be met with the brown eyes of Bellamy. 

Her heart could explode in her body, because she’s that happy and emotional with seeing him there despite everything. 

“I don’t believe it-“ Clarke was too captivated by his presence that she didn’t even notice he was wearing a suit. 

A full black and white tie suit, expect the tie was wrapped loosely around his neck and the jacket he was supposed to wear was hung across his shoulder. 

“Why’d you come?” Her eyes wander his clothing, he looked so nice. Her world spins so fast; it could make her dizzy. 

Bellamy couldn’t help but beam a smile at her. “I took a wrong turn on the way to prom and somehow ended up in California” 

She’s close to tears but laughs anyways because he’s an idiot for coming all the way to see her. But he’s her crazy element to everything that is being herself. 

“You’re crazy.” Clarke decides to say, finally taking a deep breath taking all the moment in. He’s really here. 

They were a foot away from eachother and Clarke was too scared to move closer but he’s already moving towards her and won’t stop. 

“Crazy for showing up to see you?” 

He takes a step closer. 

“Or am I crazy for showing up in a suit when it’s so freaking hot here?” 

He laughs at himself, yet now there’s at most five inches in front of the girl. 

Bellamy doesn’t hesitate to grab Clarke by her right arm and pull her to his chest because one week is way too long. 

“Or absolutely insane for this one girl who thinks I can’t do a long distance relationship and won’t do everything else I just said?” He’s lost in her features, her bright eyes the most pretty. He caresses pieces of hair from her face and hooks it behind her ear. 

Clarke is smiling with the tears in her eyes, and asks him. “What’s the suit for exactly?” She looks down again. 

He squeezes her waist quickly, something intimate that he does often and then jogs towards something in the bushes. 

The garden was filled with beautiful flowers of colors like red and white and she loved nature. She always has, and of course Bellamy would know. 

He appears again with a remote, and presses a few buttons before everything seemed to have a glow around her. 

The flowers looked to have turned a shade darker, but still so pleasing to her eyes. The red would turn maroon and the white would turn into a off colored version of itself. She blames it on the sunlight being so bright in the morning, but her Bellamy picked the bushes in the corner where there was more shade. 

“Pretty, huh?” He asks, shifting on the balls of his feet because he’s been out there all morning trying to set it up. 

Clarke nods instantly like a child in a candy store, looking around before asking the one question on her mind that’s racing. “Why are you here, Bellamy? I mean....everything is so beautiful and I’m grateful. But, Alberquerque is so far from here. You’ll never make it back before prom” 

Bellamy stops his fussing, feeling confident in his answer. 

“You took a wrong turn too, and somehow you got to California before I did” He teases. 

She stops to admire a couple red roses hidden under a few small lights before she could muster up something smart to say. “It’s thousands of miles away, and you made this trip for nothing if you planned on going. Which I wanted you to go.” Clarke assured, hoping he would think logical like her. 

“My prom is wherever you are” Bellamy’s voice goes soft, like she’s the only one in his universe and speaks to her when she’s feet away from him. 

Clarke turns away from the roses, eyes locked on his automatically. 

He wasn’t done speaking by the way his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows the nerves in his throat. He clears his throat before talking, “Clarke you may be in college already, wanting to forget everything all about high school....but I’m not. I don’t want to forget about everyone, and if I’m going to have a final dance at my high school prom, I really don’t care if it’s the desert or up in space, I need it to be with you.” 

Clarke goes blank, absolutely filled with love and joy in that moment. She realizes how much he loves her, and how much she loves him and it was so wrong to leave him behind. 

She doesn’t know his reaction when she runs to him and throws herself in his arms. Her hands finding the familiar place of the ends of his hair, tangling in his curls and holding him impossibly close. 

His arms wrapped tightly around her as he breathes her sweet scent in, and he knows he made the right choice. 

She adjusts in his hold and whispers in his left ear “What’s with you being so adventurous?” 

Bellamy gets that tingle in his veins, his pulse quickens because he missed her so much. “Life is better off when it’s on edge, Princess. It’s the feeling I get when I’m with you” 

Clarke presses a kiss to his cheek, he’s warm to the touch. 

“It makes you vulnerable, not living life on the edge.” She states, giggling and he wishes he could have it on loop. 

“You’re not the only one that changed in a matter of seven days” he joked, as she plays with his tie.  She unknots the messy fabric, and just pats his chest. 

The sun was beaming down on the space around them both, so bright and angelic. 

“I missed you so much.” She happily sighs but replaces it with a frown when she realizes what she should’ve said. 

“I’m sorry, about leaving you behind. Not saying goodbye....all of it” Clarke looks down at her feet, adorned in her typical black boots while she replays the conversation in her head. She messed up, and she’s strong to admit that. 

Bellamy won’t have any such thing, he’s already so glad with her apology and her smile. He tilts her head up with his forefinger and thumb, and presses his lips on her’s. 

It was slow, both of them taking their time to just enjoy the contact. Clarke’s hand sets on his shoulder, pulling herself up to meet his pace. His lips were soft against her’s, almost putting her in a trance she’s already fallen for in the past. 

Bellamy’s grin had returned. “I had to get my goodbye somehow”

He watches as her eyes open slowly after pulling away, knowing the effect they had on eachother.

He’s in love with her. 

But, the pain of the goodbye was awaiting and he needed to do one last thing before the realization hits him. 

“I’m not leaving till you dance with me....so Clarke Griffin, would you dance with me at my final dance” 

He asks the question in a tone that reminds Clarke of royalty. But, Bellamy is definitely more geeky and it’s so cute that she can’t look away. It’s private and definitely less formal. 

She snickers as he outstretched her hand pretending to start dancing with her, but she pulls back. 

“I can’t dance Bell, and we don’t even have music-“ Clarke begins to argue but she kinda likes the idea anyway. 

He just laughs at her, a wholeheartedly chuckle comes from his chest as he turns away. It makes Clarke bite her lip because she really can’t stop smiling. 

“Do you think astronauts had music up in space?” Bellamy asks randomly, yet his eyes light up. 

She’s baffled by the question, “That’s so random, but no. I’m guessing not” 

Bellamy pulls at her arm, to get in position. “They probably still danced.” 

“We don’t know that-“ She stops herself when he pulls her flush against his chest and he’s so close again. 

“I wanna dance with you, so I’m gonna dance with you.” Bellamy declares, a playfulness to his voice. 

Clarke squints her eyes like he’s deceiving, because most of the time he was. “I’m not even dressed for this kinda thing, and you are” 

Bellamy’s eyes travel down her body that she’s wearing blue jeans and a white shirt that ran long in the back. Her hair was pinned back, she was casual but honestly so stunning. 

He sighs, “—And you’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve seen.” He says softly as he kisses her forehead. God, she loves those. 

She caves in finally, and let’s his hand hold the curve of her hips. 

Bellamy wants to smirk, knowing too well that she gave into his ways but he doesn’t because it’s like something out of a movie. 

“What style?” She asks, a lazy smile on her lips cause she won’t lie and say she’s giddy about all this. 

“To be honest, my mom only taught me the Waltz. So that’s all I know” Bellamy grows a small shyness, his mother being the second most important woman in his life. His sister Octavia was third obviously. 

Clarke is hesitant but let’s him take the lead, following the taps on her shoulder to show her how to stand and how to hold him. 

“Don’t worry, just follow me okay?” He soothes her, and she nods and breathes. 

Her right hand settles on his shoulder and she reaches to grab his left hand and he graps on immediately. 

“This would sound better with music.” 

“I think we’re good, I have all I want right now. You just have to keep up with me.” He can’t get enough of her, so he pecks a feather like kiss on her nose. 

Her face scrunches cutely and he almost was so tempted to do it again, but her feet are on top of his. 

He looks down to see her smaller feet planted on his, like how Octavia used to do. He realizes how lucky he was in that moment, that their love was precious because of moments like these. 

“I don’t have to follow your footsteps if their mine too.” She’s so sarcastic that it made his heart flip. 

Bellamy’s eyes closed at the feeling of her fingers still brushing out and tangling in his black curls, and he really doesn’t want to say goodbye. 

But he doesn’t expect that when they start to move around the small area that made up the garden with maroon and off-white colored flowers with the glow from his cheap lights, her head of blonde curls was against his chest. 

She looks up at him with a realization in her eyes and a sense of resentment for what happened, but it was surfaced with her joy. 

He came all the way to see her, to dance with her in the garden of her college that was 2,199 miles away from their hometown. 

It’s the least she could do, and it’s about time she stays happy and follows her own dream for a little while. 

Bellamy falls into her sea of blue, too lost  in the beauty she always was and is. 

Clarke beams up at him, like how he’d done before. “If my feet are following you, then I guess I’ll have to go back to Alberquerque to be with you, huh?” 

All he does is set his head on her’s and whispers sweet nothings to the air surrounding her, having hope she hears them perfectly because he’s thankful. 

She doesn’t say goodbye to him, the guy that’s so important in her life. She couldn’t do it before so how could she do it then? 

Clarke may still be enrolled in college, but she’s still got a month left of her senior year at high school. 

Maybe Bellamy was right all along, because that’s all she felt when she was dancing in his arms the next night with Raven and Luna besides her. 

It felt so good to be there with Bellamy for prom, even if they already shared their own dance in a little garden on her campus, thousands of miles away from the place he called home. 

He didn’t realize home was Clarke until the day that she wanted to break up with him. 

He proved it when he asked if he could have this dance, and as they looked in eachothers eyes with the lights dimmed and chaotic friends around them. 

Life didn’t seem so fast paced or never ending. Clarke and Bellamy would last now, knowing in their hearts it would never end. Even with college just around the corner.  

**Author's Note:**

> And she’s back!!!! This idea sprung in my mind early this afternoon and I couldn’t stop myself from writing. I hope you enjoy this chapter before I upload a final part 2 cause come on....there always has to be a little happiness after the hard times. Enjoy! Xo


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